Like many others during the pandemic, at my home, we have been turning to food not only for nourishment, but also for comfort. It is easy to see why many have turned to food to escape from stress and boredom. It got me thinking, how are we relating to food?

I began to notice some patterns and started to ask myself, why are we picking the most laborious and time intensive foods to prepare? Baklava, Baba Ghanouj, Kufta, Macarona bil Siniyya, Malfouf, Maqlubah, Mujadarah, Qatayif, Salatat Tahini, Shorabat Addas, Shorabat Freekeh. Was it because of the healing properties of the ingredients?

Food preparation encompasses more than the pleasure of fragrant smells and anticipated bursting of taste buds. There is something remarkable about the sheer variety of vegetables, grains and herbs that are staples of Middle Eastern cooking. Eggplant, artichoke, garlic, olives, freekah, dandelion greens, tumeric, sumac, cardamom, yoghurt products, ghee, sesame paste that are added to rice pilafs, stews, bone broths, and salads. So many of these ingredients today are known as superfoods and natural pre and probiotics. The foods we are reminded can boost our immune systems in the face of the COVID-19 virus. For as long as I can remember, these foods were simply what was for lunch and dinner. I did not comprehend their healing properties until many years later. After all, as Dr. Mark Hyman reminds us, “food is medicine.”

Or could it have been nostalgia for the past?

In my home, food emerged as an important medium for creative expression and communication. Food became a safe, if not wholesome topic, away from all the difficult news and uncertainty; a means for us to take pleasurable trips down memory lane.

We embarked on culinary journeys that brought me back to childhood memories and to my roots. My food memories are from intricate dishes my mom (and sometimes my dad) used to prepare at home, especially when they were entertaining family and friends. My other memories are from summer visits overseas. These memories are punctuated by the smell of fresh bread, communal cooking shared by women, and large gatherings of extended family for Friday lunches.

Dinner-time conversations flowed easily these past weeks. “This is how auntie used to make her Kibbeh bil siniyya.” I remember the malfouf she made for our last meal before we traveled back home the Summer of 2000…”

We often chose to look back as a way to forget our current problems. Our memories tend to be rosier when we take a rear view in hindsight. There were of course worries then just as there are now– financial, social, and political. We tend to forget the more painful details, and our brain gives us a lot of leeway to reframe our memories. Also, we simply know a lot more now then we did then and can only connect the dots looking backwards.

Through food, I was given to thoughtful reflection of the past, present, and future. I thought more about the women whose enduring patience and painstaking efforts to feed and nourish me and how much they had shaped my palette and my very well-being.

At my young age during summer visits abroad, I only had glimpses of the behind-the-scenes efforts involved in making these meals. I was aware that there was immense pressure of making sure the food turned out to perfection and of the fear of what would be said if the food being served was not enough in both quantity and taste. I remember the terminology that was used as to why certain dishes were chosen to feed the large family: “El Akil bibrek.” And, I recall many times being admonished to eat more and refill my plate, “kullo, zowado,” don’t be shy and embarrassed, “mis7hiya.” And second helping being heaped onto my plate without having had time to answer.

Little did I think then about all the efforts to source the food, the pride in cooking skills, or the hardship of cooking over large pots in uncomfortable postures, cross-legged next to the bread oven, flat-footed squatting in front of the yoghurt and meat boiling on a portable Bunsen burner, standing for hours putting together large platters. The preparations were laborious, requiring painstaking and difficult methods- coring raw vegetables, reconstituting jameed yoghurt by rubbing the dried yoghurt ball against the sides of a wooden ridged bowl. Each of these dishes required multiple steps. Balancing the preparation times of meats, vegetables, yoghurts and sauces, and finishing touches of or ghee-sauteed nuts or garlic.

These dishes served as a reminder of those who cared for us through their good food. We made it a point to remember those women and to say how grateful we are to have good food while so many struggle with hunger and food scarcity during or without the crisis.

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For more information about Middle Eastern cooking, check out on Instagram: Pomegranate Kitchen, Joudie Kalla, Arab American Museum chef series, and MidEATS.