A conversation I had the other day with a father of a teenage girl who was going through some tough issues got us talking about how important is was to improve her self-esteem.

There are any number of important values to instill in the girls we raise, but I firmly believe that self-confidence may be the most important of all. To build your confidence, you have to become self-aware. And the more self-aware you become, the more your confidence shines. Your confidence radiates in the way you carry yourself, the way you walk and talk and hold your head high. It starts at a very cellular level, with every fiber of your being aware and awake to the singular belief in YOURSELF.

Confidence to me is the opposite of self-doubt. It is believing in yourself and your abilities. To me it is keeping that little voice that creeps up and says, “No, I can’t do that” or “I’m not good enough” at bay. The science is telling us now that the human brain anticipates and expects what is going to happen based on past experience.  So if you practice telling yourself negative things, the brain is going to search for and deliver you a negative experience the next time.

Having the capacity to trust yourself and have an unwavering inner belief that you can overcome enables you to shine brighter and has ripple effects far and wide. Each of us is responsible for modeling self-awareness and self-confidence for others. You emerge as a leader because you are capable of inspiring others. Teams members thrive when they believe in themselves and each other. Families thrive when they are united against any threat. That is the ripple effect.

Catch yourself the next time you are about to doubt yourself. Instead, train your brain to anticipate the positive. Say with conviction, “nothing will stop me. I can do it.”

After all, if you don’t believe in yourself, who will?