I was sincerely touched by what Malala Yousafzai’s father wrote in Time Magazine in June 2019. “Growing up…I was surrounded by patriarchy…I was determined that if I ever got to be a father, I’d be different.”

My father was one of those men who was different. He was before his time in his thinking. He bucked so many of the cultural norms of his Arab upbringing. He declined to marry from within his family, breaking with generations of tradition. Together with mom, he left the Arab World to go to the USA because he knew the opportunities for education were second-to-none. Unlike our cousins back home, he didn’t tell us what to study, he left that to us to decide. Unlike many friends in the USA, he allowed his daughters live on their own, and travel alone. If there was an education angle to a request one of us children made, he would support it. He kept his promise to all of us six-children; “I will pay for your education until you have a degree that will allow you to be your own boss.”  When I was newly married and moved to Germany, dad never once asked me what I cooked or anything remotely about marital domesticity. In fact, on every call, he would ask me two questions: Are you still working? The second, how’s your health? (He was a doctor after all…)

My father passed away a few years ago now, but during a visit to my parents the Summer of 2012, he sowed the seeds of encouragement. (Yes, it took me a long time to get to this point, so for anyone reading, never give up on your ideas). I was journaling, reflecting on events during my life that left impressions, incidents and memories that shaped me. Journaling has long been my way of clearing my head and thinking about the world.

Dad asked me what I was writing, but I tried to avoid telling him. I was a bit nervous that he wouldn’t agree with what I was writing and would laugh off my ideas. He gently asked me again, so I told him. “I’m thinking to write a self-help guide for Arab women, to bridge the traditional and navigate through the modern world. He said to me, “this is revolutionary!” (With his voice and gestures animated… I get some of my flamboyant mannerisms and penchant for storytelling from my dad).  He went on, “It’s a revolution in thinking for changing the rusty rules, culture, and traditions that have allowed women’s rights to be trampled on.” My reply: “Oh no dad, this has nothing to do with advocating for women’s rights, this is just a self-help book, a distraction from my law job.” Dad proceeded to give me encouragement. He said, “Being a lawyer has prepared you to help others.”

Some people think that supporting women’s empowerment as being against men. In that same conversation with my father, I told him that’s what people would say if I actually got up the courage to one day publish my thoughts. He said to me, “this is not against men, this is proactive in helping women attain their rights.”

In the words of Mr. Yousafzai, “Women’s voices are the most important in feminism. But in patriarchal societies, a father’s voice is perhaps the next most important tool to galvanize change.”

To those fathers out there supporting their daughters’ empowerment, I salute you, and pay you tribute.